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An American got a job today. It was the lead story on the TV news. "60 Minutes" plans to do an expose. Said Morley Safer, "When Andy Rooney retires in 25 years, there will be another job opening for someone."

The Party of No recently spent party money on a strip club. That's a no-no, Party of No.

So, if people don't send in their census forms, would that allow newly-employed census workers to be employed longer, which would also help the economy? Hmmm.

The proper grammatical conjugation of Apple gadgetry products is, "iPod, iPad, iPeed."

Media Watch notes that Sarah Palin has been getting too much media coverage lately, with her Arizona trip to campaign for John McCain and other dull subjects, and that isn't fair because Levi Johnston hasn't been providing enough of a counter-balance by getting the same share of media time. For every Palin story, there needs to be a Levi story. Where's the FCC "Fairness Doctrine" when we really need it?

Tea companies are suing the National Tea Party for defamation of character.

A new group, known as the National Beer Party, has emerged. Oh, wait, that was just spring break for college students.

The Republicans and President Obama favor off-shore oil-drilling on the East Coast. Residents of North Carolina are for it too, until they have to trudge around in the black sand with oily feet.

Rufus Barfly said his Idaho militia members like playing soldier, as long as it's not in Iraq or Afghanistan. Their favorite color is camouflage. He said, "We pledge to protect potatoes from government interference and from the French and their fries."

O.K., more Hollywood bad behavior. But, after all, what do people expect from a person named Jesse James?