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Someone finally got a job in America. Unfortunately, it was Chelsea Clinton, taking a job as a correspondent for NBC away from an actual, real, qualified journalist.

The Republican TV debate about foreign policy on CNN competed with the commercials for excitement. Newt Gingrich has become the non-Romney candidate this week. A commentator referred to Ron Paul as the "last hippie" for his anti-war and marijuana stances. Herman Cain and Blitz Wolfer were there. Michelle Bachmann had a strange look in her eyes (okay, she always has a strange look in her eyes). Gov. Perry didn't Alamo-massacre a statement, fall asleep, or forget where he was. And no pepper-spray was used. Not even on the audience.

I don't get it?! It took one brief yell in a high-tech microphone (that was supposed to drowned out other sounds) to end the campaign of Howard Dean in 2004, but look at all of the political gaffes that this year's slate of presidential candidates have gone through...and they are still going. It's enough to wear-down the Energizer bunny, but they still keep going. Gov. Perry has enough money to run until he's at least at 8 percent again. Herman Cain can't go much beyond 9-9-9. And Rick Santorum stays on the debate stage because it gets him out of the house and something to do. Wow, times have changed!

After the presidential campaign, the next stop for some of the candidates is likely the "Dancing With the Stars" TV show. Watch for Gov. Perry to square-dance, Michelle Bachmann to waltz around the stage, and, for some real eye-popping ratings, Rick Santorum as the first guy to be paired with a male dancer.

First Jenna Bush and now Chelsea Clinton, NBC has hired presidential daughters as TV personalities. The Obama daughters are also in negotiations at other networks, possibly replacing Brian Ross and Sanjay Gupta.

In the CBS "Sunday Morning" show's "Moment of Nature," presidential candidate Newt Gingrich is seen eating a donut.

You know you are getting old when you have no idea what the claim to fame is for the "Saturday Night Live" guest hosts.

Penn State University will be the setting for a new series of commercials for eye glasses called "Turn a blind eye." The series will not include shower scenes.

Modern definitions...The Paterno culture: A culture where a nation is ranked first in sports, but 17th in the world in science education.

Second definition...The Paterno culture: A culture where the highest paid federal employee is not the President ($450,000), not the Speaker of the House ($223,000), not the Senators ($174,000), certainly not the deployed soldier ($38,000) or the average senior citizen living on Social Security ($12,000), but rather is...pep band drum roll...yes, a football coach. Or three of them--the Army, Navy, and Air Force football coaches (one and probably a second making more than $1 million).

Third definition...The Paterno culture: A culture where the highest paid public employees in most, if not all states, are university football coaches.

Fourth definition...The Paterno culture: A culture where it takes five years for a reporter to request, through the Freedom of Information Act, the amount of money that the Penn State football coach makes annually.

Students engaged in recent peaceful protests at UC-Davis in California were pepper-sprayed by the police. A Fox News anchor said the pepper spray was probably diluted. No, Fox News anchors are diluted.

With all of the attention paid to pepper-spray by police on "Occupy" protestors, the Republicans in Congress are now trying to classify pepper as a vegetable for school lunch menus.

It was reported that tear gas used by the Egyptian military on pro-democracy protestors in Cairo was made in America. That's pretty amazing, because just go to a store on the Black Friday shopping day and try to find anything else made in America. How did the American tear gas industry keep from getting moved to China?

This week's episode of "Celebrities Chasing Squirrels" involves a segment of New York Mayor Bloomberg chasing the squirrels out of a park. The mayor also had his police force chase protestors out of the park. The city parks are designated for homeless people and derelicts.

11/11/11...

As this is 11/11/11, I thought I should write something profound, profane, or prophetic.

1. "Don't be picnicking in Yellowstone Park when the volcano goes off."


2. "The phrase 'Oh, hack it' will be obscene one day, according to the super-computerized robots."


3. "I enjoyed living in a world where there were bees, whales, and helium."


4. "Janet Jackson will sing again at a Super Bowl half-time."


5. "I predict that, by 11/11/2111, every time your finger presses your nose, your brain will refresh your thoughts."


6. "I'm sorry for the plastic bag that I threw away today." (I read that a plastic bag will stay in the environment for 1,000 years.)


7. Humor lasts a long time.