Thursday, January 9, 2014

News at 10

This just in...

A sequel to "The Walking Dead" is in the works. It will be called "The Walking Republicans." The plot of TV series is that heroic survivors will have to defend themselves against creepy Republican zombies with old, dead ideas.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has a bridge story he'd like to sell you.

Someone named Mitt Romney showed up at a Republican meeting of sassy and gloomy, rich Republicans and no one knew who he was.

After a history of water fights, Senator Marco Rubio got into a struggle with Sarah Palin over her Big Gulp drink. Rubio was very thirsty.

What does CPAC stand for? Well, how about Conservatives Peek Around Corners. Or, maybe, Conservative People Are Cranky. ???

The Stock Market recently hit record-breaking levels. Rich people were jumping for joy again. Some of them even thought it might be nice if President Obama and Congress focused on helping the middle class now by adding work projects and infrastructure jobs. They even may hire some more workers, after they pay their CEO huge bonuses.

Costco pays good salaries and benefits to workers and let's them unionize. Wal-Mart doesn't. People all over the nation are anxious for a Costco to come to town. In most places, there's a building already big enough to facilitate them--if Wal-Mart will move out it.

Concerning the $2 trillion that the Iraq War cost America, it was estimated that if every American man, woman, and child had to pay an equal share of the war cost America, each person would have to pay thousands of dollars. Said former President George W. Bush, "Well, if they added dogs, then the share would be lower." Said former Dick Cheney, "And if they added cats, it would be even lower."

This week's CBS Sunday Morning "Moment of Nature" was a scene of lobbyists stampeding toward a Congressional hearing.

Hollywood has announced that the fad of reality TV shows may finally come to an end. Apparently, all of the Louisiana swamp people have already been featured. There's nobody left who has long beards and wears bib overalls, unless they hire actors for the role. But the reason they went to reality TV shows in the first place was so they wouldn't have the expense of real actors. It's become the circle of life.

Obamacare (aka Baucuscare, aka Romneycare) apparently had 400 bugs concerning its website debut. Several cans of bug spray were used.

What's the plural of TV series? Serieses or seri? It needs one.

"Baby fingers" is the new name of the latest nano cell phone and texting device because that's what you're going to need to be able to text. It also has a screen for watching movies that's the size of an ant's you-know-what. But, wow, "Lawrence of Arabia" has never looked so epic.

Be aware that a drone the size of an ear wig bug is coming to an ear near you.

Be aware that if a pizza or a book drops on your windshield from the sky, it is still better than a drone dropping on it.

You will want to get one of those driver-less cars so you can watch movies and play video games in the backseat. Teenagers will use the backseat for other activities.

The reality show "Celebrities Chasing Squirrels" has been renewed for another season. This week, former basketball star Dennis Rodman climbs out on a branch of a North Korean tree.



1 comment:

  1. Hi David,
    I'm trying to contact you and didn't succeed with LinkedIn so thought I'd try this. I hope you check your blog soon. I may have to resort to snail mail. :-) Could you email me at mitelady@gmail.com? Love seeing your blog, I could add you to my "allowed list" if you want to explore my old blogging days, but I need your email. :-) Cheers.
    Thanks, Amanda W.O.

    ReplyDelete