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There's an old theatrical saying about "break a leg," which is supposed to be a statement of good luck. But if you see any actors who actually have real broken legs, then they were probably in the Broadway play "Spiderman."

The art and conspiracy theory world was abuzz recently over the possible mystery of tiny letters painted in the eyes of "Mona Lisa." That's nothing. There is also a profane word in her nostril. Michelangelo was mad that day, after having gotten a bill for paint spilled on the Sistine Chapel's floor.

In a related Michelangelo story, scholars and nudists have determined that the guy who modeled for the "Statue of David" obviously had to pose in a very, very cold art studio.

The monthly weep index indicates that Speaker of the House John Boehner has only cried in public five times so far this month.

Facebook apparently doesn't have enough personal data about its millions of users. New profiles will include the question: Has anyone ever called you a "mammal"?

Chinese leader Hu visited the White House this week. Who? Hu. That's what I'm asking...Who? Hu. It is Hu. That's what I'm asking. Who is it? Hu. Who is what I and Abbott and Costello are asking?!!!!

Speaking of oppressive governments, dictators everywhere are complaining about WikiLeaks, Twitter, and YouTube. Said the former iron-fisted dictator of Tunisia who fled to Saudi Arabia, "Information sucks!"

Sarah Palin was back in the media spotlight, with homemade videos, making badly conceived and ignorant historical and word references. This time, it was for "Jim Crow," "dogma," and "fairy floss." Said a Palin spokesperson, "Sarah was referring to an Alaskan neighbor named Jim. She knows that there are papa dogs, too. And, of course, she knows that fairy floss refers to cotton candy. She has eaten cotton candy. She likes cotton candy."

Some guys love their guns so much that the NRA is now proposing guns with wider barrels. Well, at least a little bit wider. For the guys who not only love their guns but also want to have sex with them. !!!!

A woman who was texting and not looking where she was going fell into a water fountain at a mall. While under the water, she quickly wrote to a friend, "I M wet. 2 much H2O!"

One day last week, no students had to be told to put away their cell phones and text messaging devices. One more miracle and a Mass Communication professor may qualify for sainthood.

Joe Lieberman, Independent senator from Connecticut, announced he wouldn't run for re-election. But he would be willing to accept the vice presidential position if Senator John McCain or former Vice President Al Gore ever run for president again.

The editor of the Sage Street blog has come to the conclusion that gun laws should be stricter and that no crazy person should be able to get a gun. And for those people who think crazy people should have the right to guns or who believe in the ridiculousness of lenient gun laws, then those people are crazy, too, and they shouldn't have guns either.

Researchers say they will be able to clone a wooly mammoth in six years. In six years and one month, a wooly mammoth will be displayed in a Las Vegas casino. Tickets are now on sale.

Don't miss this week's episode of the TV show "Stars Chasing Squirrels." There is an amazing moment when radio commentator Rush Limbaugh climbs up three branches.

Three items, when mixed, that cause heartburn, irritation, and stupidity: Tea, baloney, and Rush Limburger cheese.