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President Obama proposed a jobs creation plan. But it may be just a bit too radical for the Republicans, as it proposes the construction of highways and schools. Said one angry Republican congressman, "That smacks of something that President Eisenhower would do." (Historical note here: Eisenhower was a Republican, but that was back when Republicans were sane.)

It was no surprise...Gov. Perry plays poker, former Gov. Romney plays "Hearts," and Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann plays "Slap Jack."

During the recent Tea Party presidential debate, the audience applauded the death penalty and letting a 30-year-old die if that person didn't have health insurance. They also applauded air pollution, global warming, child labor, chastity belts, non-regulation of rancid meat, drowning of witches, and fences with razor-wire.

At the Tea Party presidential debate, CNN's Wolf Blitzer failed to ask the "evolution" question. You know, the question that asks if the candidates reject the theory of evolution and then all the Republican candidates hold up their hands, and the rest of us then wonder if either they are lying to pander to their wacko religious base or they slept through every science class in junior high, high school, and college. Blitzer, with the first name of Wolf, was the perfect one to ask it, since all dogs come from wolves and, Wolf, that's evolution!

Regardless of evolution, wouldn't it be blasphemous to credit (or blame) God for creating poodles? !!!!

To help the ratings and draw a viewing audience, the next gathering of the Republican presidential candidates won't be on CNN, but instead will take place on the TV show "Wipe-Out." Michelle Bachmann will dodge wet sponges when she isn't dodging the truth. Rick Perry will have to sink or swim in a pool of water and uncertainty, and Mitt Romney will have to jump over a big round ball and Newt Gingrich. But there will be no tango dance number by Rick Santorum and Ron Paul, because that's another TV show concept. All of the candidates will have to plunge down a water slide.

Just because Lady Ga-Ga wears a meat dress doesn't mean Justin Timberlake can wear a beef jerky suit.

Because Congress wants to cut deficits rather than save jobs and provide services, there will now be one post office per state. Please drive to your state capital to pick up your mail.

When the United States stands virtually alone in vetoing the United Nations proposal for giving Palestine "observer status," it will be interesting to see how the U.S. suggests that Palestine return to the peace negotiations with Israel, when it hasn't solved much in 20 years. But, hey, somebody has to support Israel in this time of the so-called "Arab Spring" of developing democracies in Middle Eastern countries before Israel becomes completely irrelevant in the region. Struggling against democracies, that promote freedom, tolerance, and peace, is just not the same as struggling against dictatorships.

This season of "Dancing With Pseudo-Stars" includes the guy who was on the "Love Boat" for two episodes; the author of the book about the mystery of Obama's birth certificate; someone who once worked for Enron; and a dancing polar bear.

The popularity of Twitter is now being challenged by Cusser. Every user gets just four characters to express vulgar intent.

The next episode of "Celebrities Chasing Squirrels" involves Dick Cheney plugging his lousy book, not in the branches of government but instead in the branches of a poplar tree.