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A surprising new statistic from the Drudge Report: More pit bulls are wearing lipstick than are hockey moms.

Fox News reports that President Obama's fake birth certificate claims his race is "Neapolitan." Sherbert lovers everywhere are demanding an investigation.

By a 5-4 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court has found that the Second Amendment does extend to people buying hand grenades at Bible Belt bomb shows.

Appeals Court rules that the Smuckers kid doesn't have to work for the family jam business. U.S. Supreme Court expected to reverse ruling by 5-4.

CBS Evening News with Katie Couric will lead tonight's news with a story about Michael Jackson's children seen eating cookies.

Fox News reports conspiracy birther gives birth to conspiracy. The insurance industry is willing to cover medical costs.

The Wall Street Journal reports that Blue-Dog Democrats will not support a public option until health care reform covers neutering.

Nutty Republican members of Congress sponsor legislation to provide elderly people with guns so they can defend themselves when the government tries to kill them.

Tonight on Fox, Bill O'Reilly reports that a woman received compensation for her husband through the "Cash for Clunkers" program.

Tonight on CNN, Anderson Cooper, in T-shirt and jeans, travels to a small Wyoming town where a bartender threw a yelling cowboy out of the bar. Both are seeking a "Whiskey Summit" at the White House.

On Larry King Live, Larry interviews a teacher who requires students to read a book. The teacher calls it a "Teachable Moment."

MSNBC devotes this entire Saturday to coverage of life in a Brazilian prison.

Thousands of "Rays" and "Jays" were mistakenly discharged from the military. The Pentagon regrets the error and says "gays" were the actual target.

Tonight on Fox, Sean Hannity literally foams at the mouth.

Besides texting and using cell phones, other activities that shouldn't be done while driving a car include: Eating barbecued ribs, yoga, praying with your eyes closed, reading a newspaper, shampooing your hair, changing diapers, playing a guitar, and most sexual activities.