A friend e-mailed me about my new venture into blogging, noting that my next step then should be Twitter. He "tweets" and apparently leads and follows. Sounds like he's dancing and probably, figuratively, he is--with words and messages. Anyway, I went to his Twitter website page with full intentions of tweeting at him, or at least chirping, but I got scared. I felt like a Baptist in a tattoo parlor. I didn't know what to do! Can I use Twitter with just a computer? Or do I have to have a cell phone or one of those Strawberries? I only have a land-line phone. Yes, that phone is so old that now it is accepted by the Amish. I will probably be the last person on earth to have a cell phone...and, frankly, that's O.K. with me.
I watch college students trying to peck out messages, spelling like pirates, on itsy-bitsy keyboard buttons on those annoying hand-held devices. My fingers are too big for those buttons. Of course, the students can only play with their toys before or after class or otherwise my mood changes from pleasant to...well, let's just say it changes. But I still would like to follow the news and activities of friends, including with the use of Twitter, as long as I can do it with just a computer, and even if it means I may risk the cancellation of my Luddite lifetime membership. I was on line (not online) to being inducted into the Luddite Hall of Fame. But my blog and surely a journey into Twitter would change that status. My friend said that once I get used to Twitter, I will like it. He said it is a great "news service," faster than the New York Times online, if you can cut through the clutter. So, I am getting up my nerve for Twitter, though I still don't know the actual process.
Twitter requires short messages. Very short. A sentence or phrases and weird, awful Internet-type "spelng." So, in the meantime, I will practice writing in single sentences--that alone will be a challenge for me. Here are some "practice" messages:
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
Don't blame me, I voted for McGovern.
The new gnu knew new Nu news.
I wanted to explain to you the Theory of Relativity, but, sorry, I ran out of space. Check out the definition in the next 1,000 tweets.
Here are some short quotes I have thrown at college students:
There's a "sour" in Missouri, but make sure it's not you.
What nation should you never want to live in? DiscrimiNATION.
Some people go to the bar. I try to raise it.
How about a real short message? Like this one...
I C U R A Tweeter. I M 2. (Translation: I see you are a Tweeter. I am, too.)
O.K., do you all think I am ready for Twitter?
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